Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
