I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize