Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
