plz talk dirty to me
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
