I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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