I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
They should really pass out barf bags in church
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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