Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
should my penis look like a turkey
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
