if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
