me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
