Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
