When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
