what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
