youre lurking in front of me
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
