I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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