you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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