her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
