What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
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so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
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I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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