so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
