All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
