sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
