In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
