He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize