your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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