The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize