I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Alive.
So much puke
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
