Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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