I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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