in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
