We're facebook friends in real life
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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