It's like God shit irony all over that family
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
