oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
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Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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