Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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