Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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