I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
