Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
