Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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