Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
