Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
