Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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