You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
