i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
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I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
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The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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