Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
