From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize