I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
