What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
