Soap is not a condiment
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
