If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
false alarm. still invincible.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted