He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law