I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
im so drunk with asians
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
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I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
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Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.