after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
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You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
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You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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