You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
