Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
