So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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