i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize