But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
