Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
