i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
