Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
