I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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