We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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