I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
