When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
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Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
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I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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