playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
