Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i barfeds in our rink
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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