so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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