i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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