I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
